MEMPHIS MOON

If you remember in our talk today,
I said I would not let you come back here even if you could.
( Inside the prison. )
This is why.
You made my day and my week today.
Just by seeing you.
It's like I was 1000 miles away from here.
I was so happy coming back to the barracks.
Then as soon as I walked in it happened.
A guy thats been here for about a month
35 years old
cut his throat ear to ear with a razor blade.
He lay in his cell for about 5 to 10 minutes
before anyone found him.
When they took him out he was lifeless.
Don't know if he died or not.
How sad.
And we don't know why.
But if I had to guess
I would say because his wife left him
or told him she had someone else.
That seems to be the #1 reason men go crazy in here.
Some just can't take it.
Like I've said many times before, time is a very funny thing.
It's your friend or your enemy.
You just never know which one.
You see, I had so many good emotions when you left.
I had tears of joy in my eyes.
But, that's the 3rd dead person I've seen in prison this year.
One at Brickeys.
One at Pine Bluff.
And now one here.
And the real sad thing about it is that it don't bother me.
That's what time will do to you.
It hardens you.
It makes you have no feelings about things.
And we will never know just why he did it, will we?
No, we wont.
Life goes on in here like it never happened.
They will move someone new in his space tomorrow
Like he was never here.
It will be another day in drug class.
I will go back to playing judge and jury.
And have people to reflect on their behavior.
I will return to my 8x12 home with Mr. Christopher Cross
who is as gay as they come.
I will crawl my big ass up on the top bunk
and look out my small window
for Bernie the Crow and the horses.
I will put Deuce's photo up on my lap
and dream about the day where I can be out
and feel the fall breeze upon my face.
Hear the leaves fall on the ground.
Think about Halloween with Luke and Faith.
Ive missed the two of them.
Think about your first Halloween in Memphis
in which I carried you around the block
as you held on to my neck
looking up at the moon,
scared of it because it was so full.
The day you learned to say quarter moon.
Oh, how I miss those days.
But, one day I will have a little Matt Ratt.
A little Doo Doo.
And Papa Night and Grandpa Deuce
with his grandkids will be on the farm
while you and Drew and family do what you are doing.
I do with all my heart and soul believe my best days are ahead of me.
Ahead of us.
I love you more than I could ever tell you.
I need you so much in my life.
They can take my body,
but never my mind and soul.
P.S. I miss fall so much.
Its the little things.
I must go now.
My heart is hurting.
I miss you.